The First One to Speak Loses

Epigraph is from one of my favorite books.

What we, or at any rate what I, refer to confidently as memory—meaning a moment, a scene, a fact that has been subjected to a fixative and thereby rescued from oblivion—is really a form of storytelling that goes on continually in the mind and often changes with the telling. Too many conflicting emotional interests are involved for life ever to be wholly acceptable, and possibly it is the work of the storyteller to rearrange things so that they conform to this end. In any case, in talking about the past we lie with every breath we draw.

—William Maxwell, So Long, See You Tomorrow

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Countdown: 1 day to go . . .

At 11:42 this evening Carve Magazine received my online submission. Will I win this contest? I doubt it. But what I did win a few minutes ago liberated me. For so long I've kept my work too close, like an overbearing mother protecting her child from the world. Now it's time to let go and put my words out there albeit into the virtual universe.

At the Music Academy's masterclass tonight one instructor advised his cello student to: "Do something creative [with the music] that hasn't been done before." He was referring to the great cellists who came before her, the ones she likes to imitate. He said her musical technique was exceptional; however, she needed to "smile" and connect with the audience, "Open up, trust yourself," he suggested. "Let the audience see something in you--reveal something about yourself." I fumbled in my purse for a pen to jot down his words of wisdom. I spoke of my masters before: I'll never sound like them, but I will strive to "open up, trust myself" and "reveal something" as I "do something that hasn't been done before."

I did start today: Sitting and packing.
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